Derek Adams

Orchid Footwear head hancho. Lover of beer, iphones and backflips.

Posts from Derek:

How To Be Awesome

Shadow posted this on their Twitter today under the name “special purpose”. Too good.

Metal and rap are like fire and ice, both powerful forces on their own, but together they make luke warm water. Stinky, stagnant, luke warm water. That hasn’t stopped many from trying to mix the two. Very few, if any, have succeeded. That’s debatable. For this article I had to give a lot of bands a free pass, otherwise nobody could get through it all. So without further ado, here’s my list of the 10 most cringe-worthy tracks in rap-metal. I dare any company to use this list as their next bmx video soundtrack. More realistically, I dare YOU to watch every video on this list without vomiting. Trust me, you don’t want to miss number one…

#10. Vanilla Ice
Vanilla Ice tried to reinvent himself as a metal dude in the late 90’s with hilarious results. Here’s the metal version of Ice Ice Baby dubbed over the original music video. Believe it or not, it’s one of the more listenable tracks on the list.

#9. Downset
I think Downset was one of the bands that emerged after Rage Against The Machine got popular. This song was actually in an ECD video already, so you need to get MCM’s permission if you want to reuse it (this video actually says MCM in the corner too…weird).

#8. Limp Bizkit
Let’s get the obvious out of the way here, these guys are terrible.

#7. Kid Rock
Say what you want about Kid Rock, but he made sweet love to Pamela Anderson in her prime, and you didn’t.

#6. Crazy Town
This isn’t the most “metal” of Crazy Town’s tracks, but it’s probably the worst video. You might know “Shifty” from Dr. Drew’s celebrity rehab on tv. Seems like a fun guy to smoke crack with.

#5. Hed PE.
Thanks to my friend Luke for making me aware of this. Double wow! So gangsta!!

#4. Undead
This is the first song that popped up on Youtube when I typed in “rap metal”. Figures it’s on a Famous Stars and Straps soundtrack. Why do a lot of these guys sound like angrier versions of Eminem? If you haven’t puked yet, this may do it. Get your bucket ready…

#3. Jay-Z and Linkin Park
The rap/rock collaboration thing was invented by Run DMC/Aerosmith in the 80’s, taken to extremes with the Judgement Night Soundtrack in the 90’s, and has only gone downhill since. The top 3 are more recent collabo’s that never should have happened. Yes, it actually gets worse from here.

#2. Wu Tang and System of a Down.
No!! Why?? If you don’t want to lose respect for Wu-Tang, just skip to the next one. This is abysmal. ODB must be rolling in his grave.

#1 Metallica and Ja Rule.
I still can’t believe this song actually happened. Who thought this was a good idea? I got this song stuck in my head for an entire day, “Yeahhhhh, we did it!!!” over and over, haha. It really doesn’t get any worse. Please listen to this because misery loves company. Seriously, this track is an audio train wreck!
WARNING: Once heard this can never be un-heard.

Fresh For ’89 You Suckaz

My friend Andy Carr just sent over this scan of a 1989 Woodward brochure cover, “Came across this a bit ago. Woodward Brochure cover. Lower right it says, ‘New For 1989 Skateboarding’. Haha see, they don’t run everything or start everything. Plus, Carlos ‘Bronco’ Tirado on the cover. Don’t know if you ever knew who this guy was, but he was Puerto Rican… or Mexican, I cant remember… but he was a cool dude, rode vert, definitely was a character who was talked about years after he worked there. He smoked pot, stirred up controversy… but was likeable, from what I remember.”

This is totally random and unrelated to Woodward, but for some reason the “New For 1989 Skateboarding” tag line reminded me of this KRS One intro from Sick Of It All’s first full length album. This was pretty much at the beginning of the rap/metal crossover movement. At one point I remember thinking that rap and metal music combined would be the greatest thing since sliced bread. Then when it actually happened, it wasn’t so great. In fact it was downright horrible. If I had time I’d get into it, but that’s a whole other story. Actually that gives me an idea for a music article. The Rap Metal Hall of Shame coming soon…

Edit: Rap-metal hall of shame right here.

Jailhouse Cuisine with Paul Horan

They say when criminals go to jail they always come out as better criminals, but I bet you didn’t know they also come out as better cooks. You have to be resourceful in the joint. Three squares a day doesn’t always cut it, so you have to use your head to survive. Paul Horan has been inside the belly of the beast, and he came out clean on the other side. He actually makes it sound like he was in the Goodfellas version of jail, the one where you live like a king and get away with everything (as opposed to the scary “soap on a rope” kind of hell hole that most of us think of). Paul mentioned some prison recipes he had learned, ones that could be made quickly inside a gas station with gas station ingredients, so we thought it would be a perfect series for Least Most. Bmxers are usually traveling while broke, so hopefully these come in handy for someone. Bon appetitÃ©.

RECIPE 1: Paul’s Slammin’ Slammer Mac & Cheese.
In the big house you have to start with items available on the jailhouse commissary list. The commissary list changes frequently so you take what you can get. This particular dish consists of Cheetos Puffs, Ramen Noodles, and Summer Sausage. You’ll also need a cup, hot water, a plastic knife, and a rubber band.

Step 1: Crush the cheese puffs inside the bag, as fine as you can get them. Don’t use all the Cheetos, one bag will make 2 to 3 meals. Also, make sure not to ruin the bag, you’ll need this later in the process. Cheetos bags are lined with aluminum, so they’re perfect to cook in. When you’re finished you can save the bag for future meals.

Step 2: Cut the summer sausage into bite size pieces with your plastic knife. When you’re finished with the knife, save it to melt down and file into a shank. If you’re a vegetarian you can skip this step (meaning the sausage, not the shank. Always keep a shank ready in case things pop off).

Step 3: Break up the ramen noodles then dump them all into your bag of crushed Cheetos. This is also a good time to add your sliced summer sausage. Mmm Mmm, I bet your mouth is watering already.

Step 4: Add hot water. For this dish, hot tap water will do. Some other dishes require boiling water with pieces of stripped wire plugged into an electrical outlet (we’ll show you how to do this in a future segment).

Step 5: Tie the bag with your rubber band, then let everything cook in there for a few minutes. The ramen noodles will take a few minutes to soften up and absorb the cheesy goodness from the Cheetos. When the noodles are no longer crunchy, it’s servin’ time.

Step 6: Eat it! By the look on Paul’s face, can’t you tell it’s delicious? More recipes coming soon…

July 4th Jammy Jam

The stench of freedom…

Tinker

This has to be one of the sweetest covers of all time. Tinker Juarez, BMXA 1980. Another gem from the forum thanks to Ed Koenning.

Dudes on the internet

2 unrelated videos as seen on the net.

Banned 4

Saw this trailer posted on Mike Cottle’s Wasted Youth blog. Can’t wait to see the whole thing.

Pissed Jeans

Pissed Jeans live at the Cake Shop in NYC. Filmed and edited by Joe Stakun of ILMB fame.

From The Forum

More old school magazine scans thanks to Ed Koenning. Dave Vanderspek and the Curb Dogs were the shit in 1985.

Doing things on bikes that Wally and the Beav never dreamed of…? Uhm, okay.

Salt Lake City, Fool

Go to PropsBMX.tv for more videos.

What is it about Salt Lake City that makes people crazy? Whatever it is, keep doing it. It’s fun to watch. These 2 videos made the internet a radder place today…

Also, it’s funny that the Lizard King’s dad always encouraged him to be a bmxer, so he became a skater. These punk kids these days. Apparently he’s a pretty good rider, and can do handrails and stuff. Dave Thompson, on the other hand, there’s no questioning he’s good at bikes.

Vincent Guedes Photo Feature

Vincent Guedes is an awesome guy from France, who has an eye for taking simple, beautiful photos. He hasn’t been shooting as much bmx stuff in recent years (he’s keeping busy raising a family, starting a photo agency, and training for Ironman races) so we asked him to compile some of his favorite bmx shots from yesteryear for Least Most. Here’s what he sent, click and enjoy…

Garrett Byrnes, with some french full pipe action and a tire slide in the infamous Asbury Park pool.