The ants of campsite 97
In my first Visit to Australia I experienced a lot of New things. Almost Immediately after arriving, we were on a nude beach with a skatepark, and soon I was BBQing Kangaroo meat, and camping in the bushes in someones backyard.
The whole experience was epic, but nothing seemed to have the same effect on me as BULL ANTS.
Bull ants are not ordinary ants some youngster might be burning with a magnifying glass like they are here in the states, they are how ever, magnified by evil, and are torturous mean lil buggers.
For starters they can grow up to 40 mm, and are well-known in Australia for their aggressive behavior and powerful stings. Powerful sting is nothing I’m used to as far as ants go, and these crazy bastards will eat themselves. this from a philosopher’s study, Arthur Schopenhaur-
“But the bulldog-ant of Australia affords us the most extraordinary example of this kind; for if it is cut in two, a battle begins between the head and the tail. The head seizes the tail in its teeth, and the tail defends itself bravely by stinging the head: the battle may last for half an hour, until they die or are dragged away by other ants. This contest takes place every time the experiment is tried.”
I am no philoshopher, but I will tell you, sleeping for 2 weeks on Australian ground, at campsites, beaches and such, you don’t want to sleep with these things in your swag.
One night, after a lengthy drive through the outback, into New South Wales, we ended up in a dusty town called Dubbo. It had a gnarley park, and it was hotter than all get out. We arrived just before dusk, rode, got a campsite, had a cookout, some laughs, and layed down to rest.
It was tough falling asleep that night, between the heat and the noise of nearby motorway. All the nuisances of the evening were nothing for what I was about to deal with. Just as everyone is about to be completely passed out, 8 or so scattered sleeping bags in the dark at 3 am, I discovered Bull ants, furthermore, I discovered they travel in heards, into my bag, and into my clothes. Even My upper ass crack. There was nothing to prepare me for the discomfort I was about to experience just a micro second from falling into a deep sleep, But I will tell you this- “Fucking OUCH!!!”
I jumped up yelping like a cross between a maimed dog, and scared child, trying to turn on a lantern and find what I thought was a snake or a vampire bat in may bag.
Jamie finally assured me, through his own howling laughter that it was just bull ants.
Bull ants? Jesus christ, I have felt some stings before, and a bull ant in your ass crack is no walk in the park. It sucks.
I slept the rest of the night in a minivan, and with terrible fear for the rest of the trip.
